Tony Blair THROWS HUGE TANTRUM as Nick Clegg is due to receive a knighthood

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It has been confirmed that the ex-Prime Minister of the United Kingdom Tony Blair has thrown ‘the tantrum to end all tantrums’ after he heard that Nick Clegg has been awarded a knighthood in the New Year’s Honours List.

According to witnesses in a London branch of Prêt à Manger where Mr Blair was enjoying a croissant with his wife Cherie as the news broke, he threw his mobile phone on the floor in disgust and ‘started banging his feet on the floor like a little girl who had just been given a Luvabella doll without any batteries in.’

One witness said: ‘He let out a massive shriek and said, ‘Why Cherie why? He lied to the electorate! How can they give a knighthood to someone who told a massive fib about something really important that had massive consequences for so many people.’

‘The Queen has always had it in for me, silly old moo. Ever since I forced her to make that speech after Diana died.’

‘I bet Philip told her to leave my name off the list again.’

Another witness said: ‘This unbelievable tantrum went on for about 20 minutes, before he grabbed a baguette from the rack, handed it to Cherie and shouted ‘Knight me darling, knight me right here, right now.’

‘Cherie awkwardly moved the baguette from one shoulder to the other while saying ‘Arise Sir Anthony of Blair, Conqueror of Iraq, Saddo of Sedgefield.’

A spokesperson for Natwest Bank said: ‘We have changed all of his cheque books and debit cards to read ‘Sir Anthony Blair’ just to shut him up as he’s getting on our tits.’

‘He told us that he was going to get his first name changed by deed poll to ‘Sir’ anyway so technically it’s all legal.’

This article is satire, before you get the arse …