I have some fantastic news for you if you are worried about running out of bog roll over the Christmas period – Nick Clegg’s new book ‘How To Stop Brexit (And Make Britain Great Again’ is available to buy right now!
At a hefty 160 pages long, careful wiping should mean that you’ll be cleansing your unmentionable area with Cleggy’s attempts to French kiss the European Union well into the New Year as well.
How fucking dare he say ‘Make Britain Great Again!’
Here’s a newsflash for you. Britain already made itself ‘Great Again’ in June 2016 when a majority of voters told Juncker and chums to take a fucking hike.
Why the hell should we pay the slightest bit of attention to a single thing that this sad excuse for a politician has to say?
For one thing, Clegg is so enamoured by the European Union that he would gladly do to it what the Conservatives decided to do to the Liberal Democrats from the moment that the coalition government started in 2010.
‘A good ol’ fashioned Rogering’ doesn’t even begin to describe it.
‘Yeah we’ll scrap tuition fees. We’ll scrap them good. Nothing will stop us in our quest to get rid of them. Nothing whatsoever.’
‘Hey Nicky. How would you like to form a government?’
‘OMFG Dave that would be amazeballs. Where do I sign? We can still do the tuition fees thing right? I wouldn’t want to piss off a sizeable chunk of the people who voted for us and cause my party to self-destruct into oblivion at the next election.’
‘Yeah whatever you want mate. Sign here.’
Allow me to save you all £6.99 and summarise this grand piece of literature for you – here’s what you can do to stop Brexit …
The Angry Brexiteer is a new member of the Your Brexit team, and if there is anything that you would like to contact him please email firstname.lastname@example.org. I wouldn’t piss him off though …